Picking up where we left off.

There has been a tremendous difference in Lucy. She went to Kentucky for an entire week without me or John. She went with her grandparents - so it's not as if we just sent her off with strangers to camp for a week at the age of 4. She was so independent when she left - no she is kind of clingy and oh so concerned for John and I. she said that she would NEVER go to Kentucky again - bc it was so far and she would miss us way too much. I believe that she learned the "art of manipulation" on this trip.

She is growing up so fast - she starts K4 at the "big school" this school year and I know at that point she is no longer ours alone. I am for the first time having trouble decifyfering her behaviour and emotions... This morning she stated that she absolutely didn't want me to wear these shoes - she said that they were too high and my toes would hurt all day. She said that she was just afraid I would fall or .....some one think my shoes were a jezebel's shoes.

Yes seriously.... as much as this took me back - it's my own damn fault... I am the one that taught her about a "jezebel" out of my own personal desire for my child not to want to look like a street walker like some of the other young - VERY - young girls I see. You that know that I am modest - my husband would probably say too modest - so it's not a matter of "do as I say not as I do here" - it was almost funny...

For you "adults" out there - these shoes are Nine West and they are FIERCE!

and this is the "grown up child" that thinks these are the shoes of a jezebel...

 Yes I know...... she is as sweet as she looks - unless you are wearing "hooker" shoes!

New Addition to the Blush and Bashful Room

So my wonderful Granny had this amazing idea. She asked me for my favorite pieces of baby clothing that I could bear to temporarily part with and knew that I wouldn't use again for another child - should there be another girl. So I told her certainly.... she pieced and hand patchworked my Lucy a beautiful quilt - it's now almost complete - it's simply awaiting the quilted backing - in which she said she would have completed soon - maybe even for Lucy's birthday. Here is a sneak peek - I was so proud I just had to share - even if it's not completed - it was more beautiful than I had imagined!

My colors are Blush and Bashful

Well I know it's a little later than I said I would BUT here is the finished product of Lucy's new Pink and Pink room! I have to admit that it really turned out beautifully. My girl did a GREAT job picking out the colors. Thanks to my mom and my sister for helping me paint - I could NOT have done it with out you both and to my mother in law which kept Lucy over night so that it would be a total surprise! My girl is growing up so fast. There has not been a day this week OR last for that matter that I haven't looked at her and thought about how fast she is becoming a little lady. I sure miss her being a baby but goodness sakes-a-live - I really LOVE her being a little girl! She is becoming this person all her own. She is so beautiful and her laugh is so amazing - her laugh is FULL of joy and lights up a room... just like her little eyes and smile. She is using such good manners, and learning to be respectful and obedient. Yet she still maintains the innocence of a child. She has these random moments - just out of no where she will look at me and whisper "Mommy I love you over the moon" or "Mommy I love you bushels". These moments - I truly cherish and love the most with her - I guess bc she has developed the capacity to love back and she understands what love is. She is so smart - well I could gush all day - like most all moms I guess. But I tell you - there is something extraordinary and rare and exceeding excellence with this one.... I sat by her on the couch last night with my husband on one side and her on the other as she leaned her head down on my shoulder and said, "Mommy I love you bushels and bushels" - I gushed and had the thought - man this is nice - I will always remember this moment - especially when she is going through the "I can't stand my mom phase" and the "My mom is such a dork" phase.

Just some little fragments of advice.... DO NOT TAKE ONE SECOND FOR GRANTED with your children. Who cares if the kitchen gets wrecked - as long as you are cooking/baking together.... there will always be dirty laundry - your child won't always be little..... There will always be work to be done and phone calls to be made - your kids won't always want to talk to you or have you listen.... You will always be tired and exhausted....but your babies won't always beg you to read just one more story mommy.... One day you are yelling at them to clean their room and give you some peace and the next day you watch as your husband walks your baby girl down the aisle to begin her own family. Love your family and no matter what the sacrifice or the cost - ALWAYS make sure you are putting them second ONLY TO GOD!!!! Put your family above ALL earthly things. So with all of that said - I am proud to present to you "the BIG GIRL ROOM"..... funny what paint can do for a soul - "aye" ?

Her "bed buddies" - this way she only chooses two - she was SERIOUSLY sleeping with them ALL!

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The beautiful quilt my granny made when she was born and her beautiful birth wreath made my one of my bff's

The house that is building her

Her little reading knook

Giving her "new bed" a try!

Sign reads, "I know I'm a Princess bc my daddy is the King of Kings"

The heart of her room - her dance photo - and her favorite
in the world....her books.

And so the adventure begins

Okay so earlier in the year one of the walls in Lucy's room mysteriously caved in. Still to this day - we don't know why. It began to bow out and within a 3-4 month period it fell in - this was right about the time we had a new roof put on so I am suspect to believe that had something to do with it. Anywho - Pawpaw and Daddy to the rescue - they tore down the entire wall and "built" a new wall. Well terrible momma - it's still sheet rock white. I just haven't had it me to paint. I was 4 months pregnant when I painted the "baby's room" - not knowing what I was having we went with a neutral, beautiful shade of yellow - when news came that our bundle was to be a girl - I accessorised with pink pink pink. Oh and did I mention - pink. Well my mom (aka Nanna) has decided that we MUST paint before she starts back to school (she's a teacher) next week. I have decided to let go of the "baby" and embrace the beautiful little girl she is becoming. This world is so full of do's and don'ts... what's right and what's wrong - so much pressure to conform. We stifle our children and we stifle their little imaginations and their creativity to conform to what the "world" says is acceptable. So in an effort to bust wide the doors of my child's imagination I allowed her to pick out the colors for her room. I told her that we would paint two walls one color and the other two walls a coordinating different color. So we are at Home Depot picking out paint and what does she pick out? In the words of Steel Magnolias,
Shelby: "I have chosen blush and bashful"
Mallyn: "Her colors are pink and pink"
Shelby: "Momma my colors are blush and bashful"
Lucy choose "fairest of them all" and "Pretty in Pink".
I disassembled her room last night. Stripped it down to the bones... it felt so cold and empty and I sat in the floor when no one was watching and cried. I feel a changing in the tides. It's a happy change bc with the changing of the tides you know the general direction you are going but not quite the exact location you will end up. Then the thought occurred to me that one day - we will be moving from our "newlywed nest" and as much as I thought I wanted that so badly NOW - I realized all of the memories we had made in that house. We made that house our home. Of course I suppose that our next house we will also make a home. I guess it's so gripping for me bc I grew up in and lived in the same house from the time I was 3 until I was 23 preparing to be married. I think back on my old home with fond memories - but like the Miranda Lambert song The house that built me goes:
"I thought if I could touch this play or feel it, this brokenness in me might start healing... Out here it's like I'm someone else.... maybe I could find myself"
I suppose the homes we live in really do build us. They build us or they break us.
Back to the point at hand.... Lucy's room will be "Blush and Bashful" come Monday. Our conversation last night in her VERY empty room....
Lucy: Mommy it is so scary in here...
Me: Why Baby?
Lucy: because I can hear my voice talking back to me
Me: that's because your room is empty and its an echo
Lucy: Mommy - I thought you were just going to paint my room pink
Me: Sweetie it takes time to paint, I just took everything out tonight and tomorrow I will fill in all those holes in the wall and then on Saturday Nanna and I will paint it pink while you swim at Mawmaw's house
Lucy: (beginning to cry) I just want my room pink mommy
Me: Lucy
Lucy: What mommy
Me: I have a wonderful idea, let's use our E_MAGINATIONS
Lucy: um okay mommy
Me: Close your eyes and imagine that all of the walls are pink and that there is no more yellow, can you see it?
Lucy: AW (gasp) I can see it Mommy, I can see it. (opens eyes)
Lucy: But MOMMY
Me: What's wrong baby?
Lucy: my imagination didn't work mommy, my room is just still all yellow with one white wall. I am so mad.

This is me in Lucy's room at about roughly 8 or 9 months pregnant. I know I look HORRID. Give me a break okay, I had been terribly sick and in HORRID pain for oh roughly about 7 of those months. Anyway this is it - I will update on Monday as we transition from the "baby's room" to Lucy's "little girl" room. 

God is bigger than the Boogie man.

Okay so I am totally a blog slacker - I know it Abby you don't have to tell me! This turned out to be a terrible week for me - I think. Lucy was gone to Kentucky with her grandparents for the entire week - she is due home today. Which at the first of the week I was so sad bc I missed her so much but today - I can look back over the week and say - I am glad that she wasn't home to see what went on this week. I waited with anticipation for something in my life. It came and I felt utterly and completely blindsided by it. I won't be specific - bc these days it just pays not to be!! I am now faced with a tough - very tough decision. I feel the weight of the choice in my gut - for most my choice won't even effect them but for me - it's a crossroad in my life. I road that my dreams tell me I must cross - to get out of the ditch and be seen for who I really am on the inside - to be seen the way my God sees me. I can tell you some very valuable lessons that I have learned this week.... In fear - people WILL betray you... In anger and greed - people WILL hurt you - In selfishness - people WILL jump ship to save themselves....You will be blindsided....you will be lied too, used, manipulated, spoken to harshly, Oh - I also learned that only a coward feels the need to demean another human being....I also learned that you can't trust most anyone outside of your family (including my girls).....and last but not least - the most valuable lessons that I learned..... that I am a natural born leader, I am a really strong willed, brave, smart, determined, mature, woman that deserves respect, that deserves the truth to her face, that deserves to be happy, and My GOD is bigger than the "boogie" man (that one's for you Tina). I learned in greater knowledge that my family and friends - my true friends will rally around and that they truly would kill for me. God prepared me for what was coming (for the most part - I knew that there was a storm brewing but had no idea what it was to be) - in the midst of the hurricane around me - I felt an unimaginable peace. I learned that this week - I am finally a person that I am proud to be. I also learned - that I am not afraid anymore - even if you don't like the sound of the truth coming out of my mouth. Too often my meekness has been mistaken for weakness.... I won't stand silent any more. My actions are speaking more clearly and loudly than any lies that I could be told. So all in all - not to bad a week I guess - old me would have been utterly devistated - now me - I am excited to see what God has in store. I am praying for God's swift justice. Just like when David had the chance to kill King Saul in the cave - he didn't - he simply cut a piece of Saul's garment to say - hey mighty and power abusing king - I was close enough to kill you - but bc it wouldn't honor God - I didn't. Because despite you - I love you anyway... I learned that God has heard my hearts cries and HE is transforming my heart to be more like the heart of David. On that note - I can't wait to see my punkin' this afternoon. It's been a most long week dude!

Lucy's back in bizness

After what has been almost two really terrible daycare months with Lucy - she cried her eyes out yesterday morning. I left in tears saying "I just can't do this anymore". Well I was in anticipation all day as to how she was doing. I even called the director who said, "Oh you are over reacting she's fine" - which just makes me want to punch her square in the eyes - of course I am over reacting - she my first and only child. HELLO? Just a little courtesy please? Is that too much to ask. So I rush home to expect to find a totally trashed toddler. All I heard all afternoon is "MOMMY - Ms. Amie is not mean - I just like her - she's my friend - I did swings and numbers and alphabets songs and danced and I pooped in my class potty". She was simply beaming. So I said, "Did you have a good day" to which she replied - "No mommy I had just a great day". Finally - I am sure that the new teacher Amie - is God's answer to a mother's desperate cries from the heart. Thank you Father and thank you Ms. Amie.

Moved and moving on

Sorry it's been so long since my last blog followers.... So as many of you know - things have been a bit complicated - well that's laughable - things have been horrific for oh about a year now. We are JUST now beginning to understand the ramifications of ministering and reaching out to other people especially when those people are folks the enemy just doesn't want to let of go. When I am on the brink of giving up I remember the words that Jason Upton spoke - I don't want to have to answer when God says, "Why did you give up hope in me - u gave up hope in me when you thought that I couldn't reach the unreachable. I was in the church that sunday morning and to hear what Jason had to say about God forever changed who I am and has changed the way I see things and has just changed every aspect of me. So I have heard this song a billion times but as I was pulling into the office this morning I found myself weeping which I thought was pretty odd - then I realized that I was singing along to the words of this song and it was as if my heart had grasped the words of the song while my mind hadn't quite yet.... John is back on nights and I am beyond frustrated with the state of the "teachers" at Lucy's daycare - some are great well maybe one is great but as for the others - pish...pish...pish.... Here are the words to the song.

I made You promises a thousand times

I tried to hear from HeavenBut I talked the whole time

I think I made You too small

I never feared You at all No

If You touched my face would I know You?

Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)

What do I know of YouWho spoke me into motion?

Where have I even stood

But the shore along Your ocean?

Are You fire? Are You fury?

Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?

What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out

I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about

How You were mighty to save

Those were only empty words on a page

Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be

The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)

What do I know of You

Who spoke me into motion?

Where have I even stood

But the shore along Your ocean?

Are You fire? Are You fury?

Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?

What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)

What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?

And a God who gave life "its" name?

What do I know of Holy?

Of the One who the angels praise?

All creation knows Your nameOn earth and heaven above

What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)

What do I know of You

Who spoke me into motion?

Where have I even stood

But the shore along Your ocean?

Are You fire? Are You fury?

Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?

What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?

The Dark Night of the Soul

I wanted to share something else from my class. Some people refer to it as "the valley". A dark night can be likened to a photo in a dark room. It's a tidious and painful process but it's worth a beautiful photo in the end...... As we grow in character, we will periodically enter a season known as the "Dark night of the soul". It is also known as the wilderness or the vally and it seems as though it's a time when the heavens are like brass.

Hosea 2:14-15 (concerning the restoration of Israel)
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness (a place of emptiness and temptation) and speak kindly to her. Then I will give her her vineyards from there, and the valley of Achor (a place of desperation) as a door of hope. And she will sing there as in the days of her youth, as in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.

The dark night can best be described as a time of God changing EVERYTHING in and about us.
The amount of time that we spend in the dark night of the soul is determined by our soul's level of willingness to cooperate with the adjustments and changes the Holy Spirit wants to make.

It can seem that during this time God is concealing Himself. We seek God our because He is hiding himself. The purpose of concealment is to induce us to search for Him so that He may then reveal Himself. It causes us to greater appreciate Him.

1 Chronicles 28:9 "And you, my son Soloman, know the God of your father, and serve him with single mind and willing heart; for the Lord searches every mind, and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will abandon you forever.

Dark nights bring to death in our soul all fleshly works, striving and selfish ambitions so that whatever we do is by the Holy Spirit working in us.

Hebrews 4:9-10 "There remains therefore rest for the people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His"

Dark nights secure is us the knowledge that God is supporting us.

History is the battleground for control of people's minds.

Dark nights - we receive a heavenly perspective about our earthly situation and learn to stop reacting out of our selfish/soulish mind, will, and emotions. We are outside of the enemy's grasp when we are resting quietly and gently in the Father's arms.

God works in hidden ways to unclog filters that stop the Holy Spirit from flowing through us - when we are stretched - the clogs fall out of the filters.

The dark night was compared to the Velveteen Rabbit to me. The story of a rabbit that was well worn and much loved. He didn't see himself that way and he went through such a dark time of hurting b.c. the boy was so sick and the rabbit had disease on him. He thought that he would be burned and his ashes tossed. However what he didn't see was that during his dark night - he was diseased b.c. the boy loved the bunny so much that he would let him out of his arms. It was that dedication and love from the boy that turned the toy into a real rabbit.

The PEACE of God is the potting soil for Revelation.

Love the Lord your God

I read this today and felt impressed to blog it.... Please share your thoughts...impress this on your children's heart - that's what stuck out to me the most.

Deuteronomy 6
Love the LORD Your God 1 These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, promised you.
4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [a] 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
10 When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
13 Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. 14 Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; 15 for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land. 16 Do not test the LORD your God as you did at Massah. 17 Be sure to keep the commands of the LORD your God and the stipulations and decrees he has given you. 18 Do what is right and good in the LORD's sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land that the LORD promised on oath to your forefathers, 19 thrusting out all your enemies before you, as the LORD said.

Open Heaven

I truly believe that we are in a time of standing under an open Heaven. I mean I have seen instant answers to prayers in the last week. We pray and join together and decree something - and it happens within the day, within two days..... can I just say WOW! Remember this verse as u agree and ask for what you need.

Job 22:28 (NIV)
"Decree a thing and it shall be established and the light shall shine upon thy ways"

Job 22:28 (KJV)
"Decide upon a thing and it shall be done and light shall shine upon all your ways"

How much does God hate rebellion and lawlessness? Let's just see...

So here is the story that I did a study on about 3 weeks to a month ago then we learned about it in my class as well.. So I am going to share with you the insights of it... This is lengthy but I promise worth the read..... there is a huge payoff here

Numbers 16
Korah —Dathan and Abiram, —became insolent and rose up against Moses. With them were 250 Israelite men, well-known community leaders who had been appointed members of the council. They came as a group to oppose Moses and Aaron and said to them, "You have gone too far! The whole community is holy, every one of them, and the LORD is with them. Why then do you set yourselves above the LORD's assembly?"
When Moses heard this, he fell facedown. Then he said to Korah and all his followers: "In the morning the LORD will show who belongs to him and who is holy, and he will have that person come near him. The man he chooses he will cause to come near him. You, Korah, and all your followers are to do this: Take censers and tomorrow put fire and incense in them before the LORD. The man the LORD chooses will be the one who is holy. You Levites have gone too far!"
Moses also said to Korah, "Now listen, you Levites! Isn't it enough for you that the God of Israel has separated you from the rest of the Israelite community and brought you near himself to do the work at the LORD's tabernacle and to stand before the community and minister to them? He has brought you and all your fellow Levites near himself, but now you are trying to get the priesthood too. It is against the LORD that you and all your followers have banded together. Who is Aaron that you should grumble against him?"
Then Moses summoned Dathan and Abiram, the sons of Eliab. But they said, "We will not come! Isn't it enough that you have brought us up out of a land flowing with milk and honey to kill us in the desert? And now you also want to lord it over us? Moreover, you haven't brought us into a land flowing with milk and honey or given us an inheritance of fields and vineyards. Will you gouge out the eyes of [b] these men? No, we will not come!"
Then Moses became very angry and said to the LORD, "Do not accept their offering. I have not taken so much as a donkey from them, nor have I wronged any of them."
Moses said to Korah, "You and all your followers are to appear before the LORD tomorrow—you and they and Aaron. Each man is to take his censer and put incense in it—250 censers in all—and present it before the LORD. You and Aaron are to present your censers also." So each man took his censer, put fire and incense in it, and stood with Moses and Aaron at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. When Korah had gathered all his followers in opposition to them at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting, the glory of the LORD appeared to the entire assembly. The LORD said to Moses and Aaron, "Separate yourselves from this assembly so I can put an end to them at once."
But Moses and Aaron fell facedown and cried out, "O God, God of the spirits of all mankind, will you be angry with the entire assembly when only one man sins?"
Then the LORD said to Moses, "Say to the assembly, 'Move away from the tents of Korah, Dathan and Abiram.' "
Moses got up and went to Dathan and Abiram, and the elders of Israel followed him. He warned the assembly, "Move back from the tents of these wicked men! Do not touch anything belonging to them, or you will be swept away because of all their sins." So they moved away from the tents of Korah, Dathan and Abiram. Dathan and Abiram had come out and were standing with their wives, children and little ones at the entrances to their tents.
Then Moses said, "This is how you will know that the LORD has sent me to do all these things and that it was not my idea: If these men die a natural death and experience only what usually happens to men, then the LORD has not sent me. But if the LORD brings about something totally new, and the earth opens its mouth and swallows them, with everything that belongs to them, and they go down alive into the grave, [c] then you will know that these men have treated the LORD with contempt."
As soon as he finished saying all this, the ground under them split apart and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them, with their households and all Korah's men and all their possessions. They went down alive into the grave, with everything they owned; the earth closed over them, and they perished and were gone from the community. At their cries, all the Israelites around them fled, shouting, "The earth is going to swallow us too!"
And fire came out from the LORD and consumed the 250 men who were offering the incense.
The LORD said to Moses, "Tell Eleazar son of Aaron, the priest, to take the censers out of the smoldering remains and scatter the coals some distance away, for the censers are holy- the censers of the men who sinned at the cost of their lives. Hammer the censers into sheets to overlay the altar, for they were presented before the LORD and have become holy. Let them be a sign to the Israelites."
So Eleazar the priest collected the bronze censers brought by those who had been burned up, and he had them hammered out to overlay the altar, as the LORD directed him through Moses. This was to remind the Israelites that no one except a descendant of Aaron should come to burn incense before the LORD, or he would become like Korah and his followers.
The next day the whole Israelite community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. "You have killed the LORD's people," they said.
But when the assembly gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron and turned toward the Tent of Meeting, suddenly the cloud covered it and the glory of the LORD appeared. Then Moses and Aaron went to the front of the Tent of Meeting, and the LORD said to Moses, "Get away from this assembly so I can put an end to them at once." And they fell facedown.
Then Moses said to Aaron, "Take your censer and put incense in it, along with fire from the altar, and hurry to the assembly to make atonement for them. Wrath has come out from the LORD; the plague has started." So Aaron did as Moses said, and ran into the midst of the assembly. The plague had already started among the people, but Aaron offered the incense and made atonement for them. He stood between the living and the dead, and the plague stopped. But 14,700 people died from the plague, in addition to those who had died because of Korah. Then Aaron returned to Moses at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting, for the plague had stopped.
Now to fully understand the ramifications of this happening of events - I am going to give you some background. What could Korah possibly have become so insolent about? Must have been awful right....God have given Moses a word - what was the word u might ask? "Put a tassle on each corner of the priests robe" that was seriously it.... seems stupid to argue over a small thing right? Well it was a wrod from God none the less - which is never a light subject.... I believe Korah was jealous possibly - and maybe felt as though Moses was having "too much power/say so" - after all who was Moses to tell the priests what to do right? Well in those times the robes had four corners at the base. This is old testament here folks. In this story of insolence and rebellion also paints a beautiful picture of love. What we see as simple - isn't ever simple to God. Tassles hanging from the corner of the robe? See the consequence that Korah and the Iraelites faced for rebellion over such a simple thing?
Now let's go to the New Testament - and a small man named - "JESUS". Do you remember the story of the woman with the issue of blood? She risked her life just to touch the hem of Jesus' garment.... b.c. she knew that if she touched the hem of His garment she would be healed.... Now - let's go back to the story of Korah - and the tassles....the tassles went on the robes as God commanded in the end anyway - and they became known at the time as "wings". Know what the wing really was? The hem of the robe? Do you see what I am getting at here? God commanded Moses to put tassles (wings) on the robes of the priests in the Old Testament.... in the New Testament - it was those wings that the woman with the issue of blood risked her life to touch - those wings were the instrument that God healed her through! Now you see the picture of love. God loved this woman so much (this woman that wasn't even on this earth at the time) that HE commanded obedience over what seemed "a silly issue" back in Moses' day and then He destroyed 14,700 rebellious Isrealites for 1 woman of great faith.

My streams class

Okay - so I was so excited about going into my "Streams" class last Thursday... it was by far the toughest class that I have ever taken - it was harsh, and intense, and AWESOME! I definitely KNOW that I can out of the class having been taught many new things and having had some old things re-iterated to me. It is a class that has forever changed my life and I feel has sealed my destiny in a new and o so fabulous way. I am now even more excited to the things of God and just God in general - if that's possible. I was already so excited for Him and to love Him. This class delves into the many facets of God and how it is that you in particular hear from Him b.c. we all hear from Him in such different ways. I gained much insight and the exercises in class were invaluable and very much confidence boosters. I learned that I have in fact ALL my life heard from God - all this time I just didn't know how God spoke directly to me and then I had a "ah-ha" moment and many many "ta-da" moments. It's like I woke up on Saturday morning I was living my life in ALL CAPS for the first time in - FOREVER! I highly suggest that every Christian and Non-Christian take this class. For the fact is there is a God and He does speak to us still today. The harsh part about this class is that it really puts you in your place and it really reminds you of what a nothing you are without God. Which is a great thing - it's just the process of being broken... I left Thursday night feeling devestated. It was so painful - I went home and cried.... I truly repented of so many things in my life that I hadn't even given thought too b.c. I was just "too busy". Then by the Saturday we had moved onto Lawlessness and boy for someone that is a "recovering rebel" it was like "what the crap" all over again.... God showed me that I had be lawless in some areas of authority. I had began to convince myself that just b.c. the authority I had been lawless with (bad mouthing and rebelling against) was not Godly authority - I had convinced myself that I was in the right and that God just HAD to do something about it and then I needed to help Him. Guess what I learned instead - SHEESH!!!! - all authority is God's authority - may not be Godly Authority - but those people are in authority by God's allowance. That means - God commands my respect to go to them.... even if I do have some insight into the wrong things that these people are doing - God commands me to bring it to Him in prayer - not take it to my neighbor for "complaining prayer" - which is where I pretend to ask for prayer about the situation - when in fact I am only just griping, complaining, and gossiping about the authority. The entire illustration for this section of Lawlessness - was a story that I had been given about 3 weeks to a month ago by God.... it was burned in my memory then but when we read it again - I found even more insight.... plain and simple - keep your mouth shut which funny enough - is my life verse - does anyone besides me see a running theme here - something that God's trying to tell me - this became my "ah-ha" moment. I also learned that my mouth and not keep a guard on my heart and my mouth have prevented me from hearing God even more with His secrets and revelation. I also for the very first time was given three accurate words to share with people and the words those people shared with me were beautiful and I claim them as accurate as well. It was stinkin' AWESOME!! Take the class people! It comes again in the fall - next month I am hoping and praying that I will be able to take the 102 - Art of Hearing God - it's more in depth than this class - if that's possible! BLESSINGS LADIES!

Hearing God and Hope Lodge

Okay so I have an "Art of Hearing" streams course at church tonight, all day tomorrow and all day saturday. Can I just say that I am total excited about this class. I have been wanting to take this class for like FOREVER (translates to about 5 years). It is a class obvioulsy, about the Art of Hearing God more clearly. I really feel like this is a time for me to try and find some sort of clarity. U know how God speaks to all of us - I think that HE speaks to us in a way that we can Hear and understand - based on who we are - so HE doesn't speak the same way to each person. Like a special way to each person..... like when you disguise your voice 20 different ways to get it just right for every person you are trying to mimic....like I have a voice I do for Mandy and I have a voice I do for John and one for Mary and one for Lucy and one for Rache and one for my boss .....u know what I mean??? When you are telling a story about that person and you do "their" voice with your voice.... okay off a tangent there... in my world we call that train tracking - so from this blog on out - train tracking will be used and not explained - learn it - live it ; )....so I start at 7 sharp - probably 7.12 knowing my pastor ...... and I will be learning a new way - special all my own way on how to hear specifically how God talks to me. And I am also going to be learning the gift of interpretting our dreams. Yes - it is biblical. Don't think so - not so sure - open your bible - you'll find COUNTLESS times that God spoke through dreams to HIS prophets - God never changes does HE? Makes sense. Also I am hoping to go to Hope Lodge next month with one of my most beloved and trusted bff's. We will be feeding cancer patients and just visiting in general with them. My mom's a survivor of breast cancer and I feel so blessed to have her here and 100 percent well. Chemo for 5 years - that's tough - most days are great - but some days not so much... she's a fighter though and she never shows it to anyone else.... only cause I KNOW her and I can feel it....... I just want to give something back. Tell me if you know anything bout Hope Lodge - I have never been and really have butterflies about what to expect.

Back to the blog

So it's a been a week or so since my last blog.... as you all pretty much know we had the funky, nasty, wicked stomach bug that's been going around plus Lucy had walking pneumonia. I am so thankful to report that we are on the mend and Lucy is doing really well. They may even play outside today at school with this 70 degrees in AL we are supposed to have on this Feb. 26th day. Although it's a totally yucky day out at least in B'ham! Work is getting more and more hectic everyday - the closer we get to April 15th - awe - the feel of tax season. It's a "want to pull my hair out, my freakin' head hurts, I want to cry, did I really just say that out loud, feeling accomplished with what I did with my day" kind of feelings..... it's good though - the work day goes by swiftly. My afternoons at home have become filled with ABC flashcards, counting, wrestling in the Thomas train, playing butterflies and tugbuts in the bath tub, eating dinenr at the table, holding hands and "saying grace" like 15 times and then the big tada AMEN finish and then tucking my 2 year old to bed while we decide which movie she will watch while tucked in her polka dots snuggly with her blanky and teddy - wearing her Curious George and Elephants pj's and screaming "I LOVE YOU" at the top of her lungs.....then there are lights out and silence as I close the door to her room. Then it's cuddling on the couch and watching some funny dumb movie or laughing at American Idol (as if we would have the guts to get up there and sing ourselves) - saying OMG her forehead looks so big or I can't BELIEVE she did her hair that way or what in the world are they wearing.... then off to a night of peaceful dreams tucked safely in each other's arms. I have really really become so fond of these total consistently random afternoons that I spend at home doing nothing and everything with my peeps. I also learned that I am indeed smarter than a fifth grader yesterday which was really nice to know.....
So I was talking with God the other day and in the course of my doing the talking it was like a light bulb went off - everything - I mean every single thing that we have in our lives, the enemy has attacked us on - our marriage, our finanaces, our belongings, our jobs, our church, our relationships, our family, our health, our emotions, our literally everything.... and just when I was about to give up - Mind you this was the day we were ALL 3 sick with the virus....I had reached my breaking point - I got a card in the mail from the least likely source - it gave me words of encouragement and hope and a reminder that there really is NO DISTANCE between my Father in Heaven and my prayers.... WOW! - so armed with this light bulb discovery and this new hope from my card in the mail I began to listen to what God was saying. It changed my entire outlook. We stepped out on faith a while back and made the decision to begin walking in our destiny, giftings, callings, and mantle from God.... the enemy has done nothing but try and discourage and destroy us..... then I found this verse - which actually turned out to be my "life birth proverb..... It's Proverbs 4:23 and this is what it says...... this is actually 4:23-27 (it was all relevant to the one verse - Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.
That is my life verse - that... for those that really know me - u r probably laughing as I did when I read this. That's so like God.

Seeing what Jeremiah saw

So I just keep reading these verses over and over and over again - wondering what I am missing. The Father hasn't released it in my spirit yet. Maybe it's just the awe that God watches over HIS word to make CERTAIN that it does come forth. Tell me what you see.......I will come back to this post if there is anything else that I see. I do see that there is a confirmation of what Jeremiah sees and a translation between God and Jeremiah of the things that Jeremiah sees. This is just awesome also the sheer fact that God has a plan before we were formed.

Jeremiah 1
1 The words of Jeremiah son of Hilkiah, one of the priests at Anathoth in the territory of Benjamin. 2 The word of the LORD came to him in the thirteenth year of the reign of Josiah son of Amon king of Judah, 3 and through the reign of Jehoiakim son of Josiah king of Judah, down to the fifth month of the eleventh year of Zedekiah son of Josiah king of Judah, when the people of Jerusalem went into exile.
The Call of Jeremiah 4 The word of the LORD came to me, saying,
5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [a] you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
6 "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."
7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.
9 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."
11 The word of the LORD came to me: "What do you see, Jeremiah?" "I see the branch of an almond tree," I replied.
12 The LORD said to me, "You have seen correctly, for I am watching [b] to see that my word is fulfilled."
13 The word of the LORD came to me again: "What do you see?" "I see a boiling pot, tilting away from the north," I answered.
14 The LORD said to me, "From the north disaster will be poured out on all who live in the land. 15 I am about to summon all the peoples of the northern kingdoms," declares the LORD. "Their kings will come and set up their thrones in the entrance of the gates of Jerusalem; they will come against all her surrounding walls and against all the towns of Judah.
16 I will pronounce my judgments on my people because of their wickedness in forsaking me, in burning incense to other gods and in worshiping what their hands have made.
17 "Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. 18 Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land—against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests and the people of the land. 19 They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

An idea about a book named .........

So I had this really heavy conversation with my mom a few months ago and it has really stayed with me. She had been in bed late that particular morning and half way between sleep and being awake she heard God tell her "Everyone has a story" and then she saw a book - on the cover of the Book the title "My story" by none other than my mom. So her idea is that right now we are definitely in a time of being heard and a time of sharing our story (and/or testimony - which ever you prefer). So I have been mulling the idea over and over in my mind. I have a really awesome testimony to share - but everytime I sit down to write I think - does anyone really want to hear mandy' story. Is it possible that if I wrote and published a book - anyone would pay money to read it (besides my friends and family)? So I pray for inspiration and the "where to start" ...... I LOVE to read and I LOVE to write even more.... here I find myself - half way between an idea and a hard place - asleep and awake - thinking about a writing the book of my life - a book named......

My 1st blog - a blog about blogging

So this is my first blog and I am most definitely new to this whole blogging thing outside of myspace and facebook. So I have been reading all of these fascinating blogs by people I know and even people I don't know. So I guessed that since blogging is all the rage - there must be something to it. So that got me thinking - that's all we really want in life... we all just want to be heard and to be understood and known by those we love. So I will catalog my thoughts, our escapades, maybe some writings, some spiritual thoughts and secrets, and just general family stuff.