Shelby: "I have chosen blush and bashful"
Mallyn: "Her colors are pink and pink"
Shelby: "Momma my colors are blush and bashful"
Lucy choose "fairest of them all" and "Pretty in Pink".
I disassembled her room last night. Stripped it down to the bones... it felt so cold and empty and I sat in the floor when no one was watching and cried. I feel a changing in the tides. It's a happy change bc with the changing of the tides you know the general direction you are going but not quite the exact location you will end up. Then the thought occurred to me that one day - we will be moving from our "newlywed nest" and as much as I thought I wanted that so badly NOW - I realized all of the memories we had made in that house. We made that house our home. Of course I suppose that our next house we will also make a home. I guess it's so gripping for me bc I grew up in and lived in the same house from the time I was 3 until I was 23 preparing to be married. I think back on my old home with fond memories - but like the Miranda Lambert song The house that built me goes:
"I thought if I could touch this play or feel it, this brokenness in me might start healing... Out here it's like I'm someone else.... maybe I could find myself"
I suppose the homes we live in really do build us. They build us or they break us.
Back to the point at hand.... Lucy's room will be "Blush and Bashful" come Monday. Our conversation last night in her VERY empty room....
Lucy: Mommy it is so scary in here...
Me: Why Baby?
Lucy: because I can hear my voice talking back to me
Me: that's because your room is empty and its an echo
Lucy: Mommy - I thought you were just going to paint my room pink
Me: Sweetie it takes time to paint, I just took everything out tonight and tomorrow I will fill in all those holes in the wall and then on Saturday Nanna and I will paint it pink while you swim at Mawmaw's house
Lucy: (beginning to cry) I just want my room pink mommy
Lucy: What mommy
Me: I have a wonderful idea, let's use our E_MAGINATIONS
Lucy: um okay mommy
Me: Close your eyes and imagine that all of the walls are pink and that there is no more yellow, can you see it?
Lucy: AW (gasp) I can see it Mommy, I can see it. (opens eyes)
Lucy: But MOMMY
Me: What's wrong baby?
Lucy: my imagination didn't work mommy, my room is just still all yellow with one white wall. I am so mad.
This is me in Lucy's room at about roughly 8 or 9 months pregnant. I know I look HORRID. Give me a break okay, I had been terribly sick and in HORRID pain for oh roughly about 7 of those months. Anyway this is it - I will update on Monday as we transition from the "baby's room" to Lucy's "little girl" room.